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The Story of Me Old Bones is somewhat of a mystery in the Jerma Universe. It was first mentioned in the Battlefield 4 video called 'The Story of Me Old Bones'.

The Story of Me Old Bones -Battlefield 4-

The Story of Me Old Bones -Battlefield 4-

Versions Edit

There are two versions of The Story of Me Old Bones, one as told by Jerma and another as told by Ster. Jerma tells his version in the earlier mentioned video and expands on it in A Pirate's Life For Me!. Ster tells his version in his 2014 Tip of the Hats video.

Jerma's version Edit

It is first told that it happened in a long storm on a faithful day, back in the time someone in a pirate's life didn't had old bones yet. This isn't very clear, that's why later Sters' girlfriend asks Jerma for some more information.

Apparently the before mentioned pirate shot 12 people in one second. After that he turned the corner and shot more old bones. Later he got another kill and boat came over and he killed the bones on that boat as well. He even blew up the boat. Maybe that is why me old bones became "fucking on fire".

Furthermore it is told that is wasn't just storming, but is was also an dark and dreary night. In the end he was buried in tiny little graveyard behind your old bones. Whose bones these are is unknown, though presumably Ster's or Ster's girlfriend's.

Jerma wasn't the original teller of this story, that was Old Booty McScrufflebeard, but he died of scurvy before he could finish the story. Ster also told that the story lasted 8 minutes, but in the video it only takes around 2 minutes. Maybe those are the reasons why the story isn't really conclusive.

In 'A Pirate's Life For Me!' this story gets expanded upon. The protagonist of this video, Captain Humphries, also knows The Story of Me Old Bones. This implies that maybe he is the pirate mentioned in the story.

Ster's version Edit

Ster tells a completely different story. According to Ster it all started when Jerma asked him to come the computer store with him to pick up Jerma's new computer.

They went to the Dunkin Donuts beforehand and got some coffee and Jerma still had the plastic cup. When he picked up the computer he asked Ster to hold the empty cup for him, which Ster did. In fact he didn't really like that, so he was thinking about what to do with it. Then he saw a solution: Jerma was wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. He put the cup in the hood without Jerma noticing it and went on as if nothing happened.

After Jerma got his computer and they talked a little while, Jerma decided he needed to ask something to someone who worked at the store. They found a group of four who worked there and Jerma came up to them. It is important to note here that Jerma forgot the cup even existed and that he didn't know it was in his hood. Naturally, all four store workers immediately saw the cup. After some awkward silence one on them told Jerma that he had a cup in his hood. Jerma replied to this: 'You asshole'. This made the awkward situation even more awkward. After that Jerma tried to explain the situation and that he wasn't insulting them but in fact Ster.

So The Story of Me Old Bones is, according to Ster, that Jerma called four people who worked at a nice computer store assholes.

-Kanye West 2015